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Whats the difference between a phone number & an opinion? People ask for your phone number.
Things were said. Feelings were hurt. Your car was set on fire. My point is you’re wrong & Raphael isn’t the best Ninja Turtle. Get over it.
Sometimes I wish I could appear offline in real life too
When I get home the first thing I`m going to do is rip my wife`s panties off. Because they`re too small and the elastic is killing me.
I don`t hit the "Like" button on my own statuses because I am self-centered, it`s just that I amaze myself sometimes and I want to show my appreciation!!!!!!
According to the squirrel riding a unicycle in my kitchen, I may have taken too much sleep medication.......
The Swiss must`ve been pretty confident in their chances of victory if they included a corkscrew in their army knife.
I always make it a point to become friends with babies. That`s free cake once a year for a lifetime.
In case of fire, do not use the elevator. Use water...
How did anybody express anger before the invention of the caps lock key?
I`m often a little confused when people call me insane because, to be honest, I`m still just warming up.
On a scale of 1-10, I give this day a middle finger.
Just read someones status, "Today is the frist day of your life," Thats just stupid, mine was over 45 years ago.. If it was the frist day of your life you wouldn`t be able to read it... Dummy
The exam hall is the only place on the earth where everyone is desperate for teamwork..
My Wife asked, "Would you like a romantic interlude?" I said, "Does a bear crap in the woods?". Wish I`d just said `Yes`, she`s been on Google ever since.