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Nothing makes me want to leave a website more than a pop-up window saying, “Are you sure you want to leave this page?”
I just scrolled so far back on Facebook`s Timeline... I wound up back over on MySpace. :(
Without facebook: more sleep, less drama, and a life!
Today’s Horoscope: You’re gullible
There was a spider in my bathtub so I got a tissue and very carefully burned the house down.
Wait till the people so excited about all-day breakfast at McDonald`s find out they can make breakfast at home whenever they want.
All I`m saying is, you`ve never seen me crying and eating tacos at the same time
Hot singles in your area are dating each other while you sit alone staring at your phone.
This is the only comment you should be leaving on porn sites: “Why are you doing this? Please come home. Your mother and I are heartbroken.”
I saw a book titled Learning To Read For Dummies. At first I thought that sounded insulting, but then I realized anybody who would be insulted by that title wouldn`t even know what it says.
I want one of those jobs where people ask, “Do you actually get paid for doing this?”
There are two rules to success in life - 1. Don`t tell people everything you know
I`m so lonely that my cat owns a cat.
I`m more indecisive than a John in a brothel with gold credit card.
Do you ever walk out of a bathroom and want to put a sign on the door that says "I was just peeing It smelled that way when I went in there"