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My method of going "offline" in FB chat is to simply ignore you.
My phone just changed, `calendar` to `cake radar` and now I really wish I had that.
I wish I could write `` I Miss You `` on a rock and throw it at your face, so you can know how much it HURTS to miss you
Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year, and then discover once a year is way too often.
"May the 4th" be with you!
You are the pebble in my shoe of people
Q.Teacher: why do we drink water? A. Learner : Because we cant eat it!
I still dunno why they say cats have 9 lives. My cat only eats & sleeps all day long. It has no life at all!
Ride me like you stole me.
YouTube "This video is not available in your country". where the hell am I from? NARNIA?
An elderly woman at an ATM asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over. Yup, she needs a walker.
The difference between a straight girl and a lesbian is about four or five drinks.
Today is that day where anything you read online could be totally made up. Oh, wait, that`s every day.
Don’t get me started. I don’t come with brakes.
The cop said it was an outstanding warrant, dad! And you said I`d never amount to anything...