Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
St. Patricks day is the only time you can ask somebody in public,"Do you want some green" without you looking suspect.
Seems like Pizza Hut should be able to afford a house by now.
I feel so stupid for cashing in my retirement account early. But then I always feel stupid using the Coinstar machine.
I have an irrational fear of speedbumps… but, I’m slowly getting over it.
Yes it may sound childish but if it glows in the dark I still get freaking exited.
"Grapey." -me after every wine at the wine-tasting
Is there a phobia for leaving the house when your phone isn`t fully charged? There should be.
Do good masochists go to heaven, or hell?
The well behaved rarely make history.
Every time I see an abandoned shoe on the highway it reminds me of some of the drunken nights we use to have.
They say money can’t buy happiness… but it can buy bacon, and that is pretty darn close.
Do watch out for elderly neighbours in the heat wave. They`re liable to trap you for hours and talk about the weather.
Step 1 Change your wifi password to blowmefirst. Step 2 Wait for someone to ask for your wifi password.
Sometimes saying "F*ck it" is the best decision.
They said money can`t by happiness. But it can buy tattoos, car parts, and beer. What else could we need?