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There are no bad pictures. That`s just how your face looks sometimes.
E-Cigs. The great taste of water vapor, the cool look of blowing a flashlight.
I`m "keeps a pair of underwear in the glove box because I don`t trust my farts anymore" years old.
Ladies, don`t say that men never listen... We can tell you every word of what was said during an NFL pregame or in-game broadcast.
You`re either part of the solution, or you`re one of my coworkers.
If I get an e-mail from you that says "Sent from my Blackberry" at the bottom, please understand that I`m not going to respond. I can only assume that you sent it in 2006.
I suspects that whoever named that Icelandic volcano (Eyjafjallajokull) must have fallen asleep on their keyboard while thinking it up.
I tried kickboxing, but I couldn`t get the hang of walking with boxing gloves on my feet.
I got a Rolex for my birthday from my lesbian friends. I think they misunderstood me when I said I wanna watch.
Have you ever been cutting a piece of pager with scissors and worried that you might cut an atom in half and destroy the world?
For once in my life, Iād like to get up in the morning and be as excited about it as my p@nis is.
Adding "and sh!t" at the end of a sentence can make anything sound thug. Example: I was playing with my bubbles and sh!t.
I`ve started an exercise program. I do 20 sit-ups each morning. That may not sound like a lot, but you can only hit that snooze button so many times.
When people say they work like a dog, I look at mine and think they must mean they just lay around all day and poop wherever they feel like.
āI need to stop,ā I whispered as I clicked next episode.