Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The face jewelry is getting out of hand. I saw a guy today that looked like he had done a face plant in a tackle box.
If you think you aren`t creative, buy a gym membership and see how many excuses you find not to use it.
Just realized the laundry detergent has been in the refrigerator for 3 days, in case you`re looking for a business manager.
They should start selling Photoshop CD`s at cosmetic shops.
I`m not shy. I`m just being quiet because I know that if I open my mouth to speak, a flow of never- ceasing, insulting comment directed at you will immediately spew from within me.
I didn’t sign up for the 401k at work, because there’s no way I can run that far.
I would like to give thanks to the brave men and women who died a long time ago tasting which plants were edible and which plants were not.
I just found out that a bucket of KFC when you`re finished with it, also doubles as a porta-potty...
Like this if you’re “never drinking again.”
Have you seen that new golf ball that will automatically go in the hole if it comes within 4in of it. DO NOT carry it in your back pocket!
You look in good shape!!! Round is a shape isn`t it???
There are four main food groups: 1. Canned 2. Frozen 3. Fried 4. Drive-thru
The best thing about living in the southern U.S. is that "He needed killing" is a valid legal defense.
If a cannibal is late for dinner, do they give him the cold shoulder?
I wanted to book an Elvis impersonator for a party so I phoned them up and got a call centre. It said `press 1 for the money, 2 for the show.`