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I`m allergic to stupidity ... which is why I break out in to sarcasm.
i want a cute boy to let me hold his hand and his credit card
Whenever I see people doing sign language, I assume they are discussing the best way to murder the rest of us and steal our ears.
I don`t just sing in my shower, I perform.
If I`ve learned anything from 50 Shades of Grey, its that women still haven`t figured out you can watch porn at home... for free.
Answer your phone, "come in" just to mess with people once in a while. Count how many seconds it takes for them to respond.
is admitting to pushing Humpty Dumpty, he had it coming!!
Just about the time I started to give a crap, my attitude became constipated......
I sent that "Ancestry " site some information on my family tree. They sent me back a packet of seeds and suggested that I just start over
The secret to success is sincerity. Once you can fake it then you`ve got it made!
It`s that time of the evening where my beer bottle has magically turned into a microphone again.
My car rides usually consist of playing my music on random, then pressing “next” about 400 times.
What do bats eat that makes their sh!t our standard for crazy?
Is everything expensive or am I simply poor?
I don`t know why I even bother chewing corn.