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"Fidget Spinners are so dumb pointless." -The generation that purchased over 5 million Pet Rocks.
Who needs a social life when you have Netflix and a fridge full of food?
No one’s going to do it for you. It’s up to just you to make naps a priority in your life.
I really love it when a hot girl winks at me with both eyes.
I passed a homeless guy who asked "Any change!?" I said "Nope, your still dirty and homeless". We laughed and laughed and then he stabbed me
The Swiss must`ve been pretty confident in their chances of victory if they included a corkscrew in their army knife.
Rappers seem to have an unhealthy interest in female dogs, don`t they?
Do you ever get the feeling that you`re being watched? Because if it`s bothering you, I`ll stop.
"Okay" means you`re in the clear. "K" means you`re better off not coming home. Fellas, you know what I`m talking about.
Wow, I haven`t seen you since the last time I wish I hadn`t seen you
We are living in a generation where Vampires are sparkly,Werevolves are gay and Witches wear leather pants.
A synonym is a word you use when you can´t spell the word you first thought of.
Of course China is dominating the olympics, they probably made all of the equipment.
Oh the weather outside is frightful, And this booze is damn delightful
I’m not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they’d come up sliced.