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No one sees you when you`re kind, no one sees you when you do a nice thing, but all will see on you when you fart.
I hide from people too, so I get it unicorns, I get it.
I tend to avoid things that make me look fat. You know like scales, mirrors and photographs
So far my Christmas shopping has involved buying myself presents, so I`d say it`s been a success.
If you don’t like something change it... if you can’t change it....post it on facebook, so we can "like it" and laugh..
It`s about time the government enacted a law that keeps dumb and stupid people away from playing any role in society.
I like to fill my medicine cabinet with marbles before I invite people over.
I sometimes check my blocklist to see how my prisoners are doing
Remember before the internet when all the people at the video store knew you watched porn alone on Saturday mornings
I could see how 2 deaf guys arguing would appear to be gang related.
“My phone’s about to die.” is what I say 30 seconds into every phone call. Just in case!
It`s called NASCAR because that`s the way a hillbilly pronounces "nice car"
I`m not ignoring your calls, I just love my ringtone.
I`m writing this status very slowly, cause I know you guys can`t read very fast.
Tip of the day: Don`t be a douche!