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Can`t dance? Spell your name....in the air...with your butt. BOOM! Next problem...
The other day someone told me I could make ice cubes out of leftover wine. I was confused... What is leftover wine?
I am, have to avoid the leg cramps during sex, years old.
Would you be a deer and run out in front of my car for me?
My "Do Not Disturb" facial expression is not working today.
Someone once said, “Find a job you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.” So, I’m pleased to announce the grand opening of my titty squeezing business!!
In a new study women with large a$$es live longer………the men who tell them live distinctively shorter lives.
You are not a "Food Blogger", you`re a "Fat a$$ with a laptop"
If someone says “you’re funny” instead of laughing, you’re not.
I could see how 2 deaf guys arguing would appear to be gang related.
The more I get to know you, the more I`m convinced that you are the sole inspiration behind many medications.
If we sneezed Windex instead of spit I bet my neighbors would be cool with me standing at their window.
I`m only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand
I started drinking a little early. Yesterday, to be more precise.
Here`s where I draw the line: ___________________________.