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I’d be more motivated to work out if the stationary bikes had a little basket to hold my snacks and beer.
According to cannibals it only takes one vegetarian to make vegetarian chili.
People who get offended on the internet are the same people that take mini golf seriously.
Every so often I’ll listen to my wife talk non stop for hours at a time, to remind myself why people wander into traffic without looking.
Why do they write PIZZA all over the box? What else could possibly be in there???
That`s a lot of selfies for someone that claims to be emotionally stable
Scratch and Sniff Here [____] …Smells like glass, doesn’t it
I have always been suspicious of Wendy`s hamburgers because they are square; much unlike the round hamburgers one finds in nature.
I`m glad that we as humans settled on the hand shake as a greeting instead of the whole ass sniffing thing.
Are you bored? Go to someone`s Facebook wall, Scroll down 4 months and like something.
Everyone hates performance enhancing drugs. Yet, everyone loves Captain America.
take a left on crazy, keep going until you hit insane. Follow that down to lunatic, turn right on insomnia, way past retarded and there you are @ my place!
Just saw two homeless guys hitting each other with a piece of cardboard................PILLOW FIGHT!!!!!!
Relationships are not a test... So why cheat?
The opposite of "tying the knot" is "no strings attached"