Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It’s so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don’t say it.
I consider my body less of a temple and more of a ruin.
For once I`d like to see "It`s been a crappy year, mainly cause your were part of it"
I like how Sesame Street just casually has a vampire hanging around.
My downstairs neighbor thinks I`m a little creepy and that I overstep my bounds. At least that`s what she wrote in her diary.
#1738 "The fact that people use the wrong "your" and "there" yet spell "Bieber" correctly bothers me."-dd
what is the first thing a homeless person does when he`s on a computer? he searches through the recycle bin
You would be amazed how cheap lawn mowers are at Home Depot when you own a pickup truck and a orange apron.
I`m afraid of a world run by adults who were never spanked as kids and got trophies just for participating.
Only toilet paper deals with more a$$holes than I do.
Tomorrow I`m going to start using big words to sound smart....Sorry, I meant utilizing gargantuan idioms to simulate intelligence
When you`re a kid, dick jokes are considered adult content, but when you`re an adult, they`re considered immature.
Every time I see an obese cop, a small part of me hopes he has to chase me.
My New Year`s resolution is to help all my friends gain ten pounds so I look skinnier.
Fun Fact: Over 97.8% of men have already made mistakes this year that a woman will remind him about for the rest of his days.