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Halloween Drinking Game: Drink every-time an Elsa (from Frozen) visits your house.
A zip line but from the sofa to the fridge
Difference between men and women: Women can change their mind whenever they want. Men can change their mind whenever the woman wants.
If you watch Intervention backwards, it`s about a person partying hard after an awful family reunion.
Don`t under estimate me... unless you`re trying to guess how old I am or how much I weigh.
I’m not a picky eater or anything but I will look at both sides of a Dorito before I eat it to decide if its got a good cheesy dust ratio.
I`m scared of the pesticides on this produce, so I guess I`ll run them under cold water for half a second
My parents preferred my imaginary friend over me.
That awkward moment when your parents don’t appreciate the hilarious child they have.
The only thing I hate worse than holding a girl`s purse is when it doesn`t match what I`m wearing.
Do you ever wake up and kiss someone next to you and appreciate being alive? I did this and was chased out of the bus
A lot of times I wonder if people think my girlfriend is only with me for my money.....but I am always reassured by the fact that I don`t have any money..........or a girlfriend....
Today everything gets answered by the magic eight ball
Good friends don’t let you do dumb things… alone.
If you step on someone`s foot, they open their mouth just like trash cans.