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I propose we change the names of the upper case P and lower case p to "P standing up" and "p sitting down."
Statistically, 132% of all people exaggerate.
ah Saturday, where it`s socially acceptable to drink in the morning. ;)
There`s no better reminder to visit your dentist than a trip to Walmart.
Since my girlfriend has gotten pregnant alot has changed... Like my name, address and telephone number.
Wives are just security guards hellbent on denying you access to your happiness, and porn collection.
I`m not mental, other wise the rubber duckies would have told me by now...
Gotta thin the herd. – me eating animal crackers
Some people want a perfect relationship. I just want a cheeseburger that looks like the ones in commercials.
Facebook, the lost and found for people. . .
If only someone on the internet would give me their opinion on the election.
Some mornings it`s best to just fill the sink with coffee, dunk your head in it, and suck.
If you can read this please let me know - because it means I blocked the wrong person.
Just read someones status, "Today is the frist day of your life," Thats just stupid, mine was over 45 years ago.. If it was the frist day of your life you wouldn`t be able to read it... Dummy
Its Friday ... my body is in for a much-needed drinking session