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A good husband is like a bra. He should be supportive and help support your burdens, but mostly he`s just there to touch your boobs.
I inboxed a girl on Facebook and she never replied. I guess you could say we`re `seen` each other.
Dear Santa: My sister is the "naughty" one ... trust me.
why does that idiot Charlie Sheen keep winning, and a good person like me keeps losing?
I hear my ex is now into orgies, or at least that`s what the Craigslist ad I just posted on her behalf said.
My death bed confession is going to be epic!
My doctor prescribed me xanax instead of birth control pills I asked for. Now I have 9 kids, but I don`t care.
Barbie has an awful lot of things for a girl who`s knees don`t bend.
Well it’s time to go from sitting on my office chair, to sitting in traffic, to sitting on my couch. I’m very skilled at sitting.
If goldfish crackers actually tasted like goldfish-- wait, I just realized I`ve never tasted a goldfish. What if the crackers are accurate?
I don`t mean to brag, but my posts are enjoyed by well over 20 people worldwide...
Are you bored? Go to someone`s Facebook wall, Scroll down 4 months and like something.
Moses had the first tablet with cloud connectivity.
You´re just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you!
We welcome the Christmas season at my house by putting out more towels that I am not allowed to touch