Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Cauliflower is just broccoli ghosts.
A word of advice, stay on my good side. My good side is in Hawaii.
Sugar` is the only word in English that starts with `su` and sounds like `sh`. I`m sure of it.
I won’t come to your party unless you have an animal I can spend the whole time hanging out with.
Sometimes it would be nice if the world had an off switch.
Don`t you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do.
There is a piece of aluminum foil blowing across the road and all I can think is that one of you is without your protective headgear today.
I`m off to get my beauty sleep. Yeah, I know...I`m already so beautiful you can`t stand it! I promise...a little more isn`t lethal...yet! ;) Goodnight!
I`d imagine the only thing worse then getting your period is not getting your period.
I bet my mom is looking down on me right now, wherever she is. She`s not dead, just very condescending.
Happy Fourth of July!! Or as the rest of the world likes to call it, Friday.
My goal in life: Build a time machine and travel forward into the future until I can stop and ask someone "Do you know what `buffering` is?" and they are clueless.
I wish college was 5 easy payments of $19.99
A revolving door is an IQ test you can fail in public.
What`s the point of a highschool reunion? I`ve got Facebook. I already know you got fat.