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I wonder if more children were conceived because of alcohol or more alcohol was consumed because of children.
I use to be addicted to soap, but now I`m clean
How do I like my eggs? ... Umm in a cake.
I don`t know what is longer. A microwave minute or a treadmill minute.
I’m pretty sure putting time limits on when breakfast is served is unconstitutional.
The older I get, the more I enjoy being bored.
On a scale of 1 to "Me".. how smart are you?
The funny moment when a fat kid says "that`s how I roll".
To the person who stole my antidepressants..I hope you`re happy now!!!
I bet Bruce Wayne sometimes accidentally signs his credit card receipts “Batman” when he’s drunk. I know I do.
After all these years, I`m beginning to suspect that Waldo doesn`t want to be found.
I`m starting to think that Dr. Dre isn`t a real doctor after all...
Going to Colorado this weekend to go ... "Hiking"
Something tells me that girl with the word "Princess" tattooed on her neck isn`t really Royalty.
If you feel lonely... dim all lights & put on a horror-movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore