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We should bury everyone upside down so if they come back as zombies they’ll dig the wrong way.
I can’t hang out tonight because I’m done with people for the day.
If the conversation gets too serious and uncomfortable, take your pants off.
In Hell, you cannot peel off the colors on a Rubik`s Cube to solve it
Some people are like water balloons, they’re more fun when you throw them out the window.
Life gets expensive when you trust a cute woman.
If you want a successful relationship, find someone who likes the same thermostat setting that you do.
I don`t understand fat poor people. What are you eating? Broken hopes and dreams?
I was standing in front of the mirror earlier, admiring my six pack for hours. But it got really warm so I put it back in the fridge.
One man’s potato is another man’s vodka.
I’m amazed by how quickly I forget what I’m doing.
Never look directly at the people having a sizzling plate of fajitas delivered to their table... It’s what they want.
Rabbits jump & they live for 8 yrs. Dogs run & they live for 15 yrs. Turtles don’t do anything & they live for 150 years. LESSON LEARNED!
For an "adult" bookstore, this place has a LOT of picture books
You think you have a tough job? I clean the windows on automatic doors.