Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Urban Dictionary: Helping white folks figure out if they`re getting insulted or complimented daily.
If you lose your shoe at the end of the night, you’re not Cinderella. You’re probably just drunk.
Every time i see a person kneeling over tying their shoe, i run up behind them and hop over them to try and get a game of leapfrog going.
If you say married people aren’t having sex, you have obviously never sat in a hotel bar & watched them pick up strangers.
When people tell me "You`re gonna regret that in the morning"...I sleep in till noon, because I`m a problem solver.
People who wait 4 hours to reply to my text with "lol" should be shot.
I don`t have ADHD. I have ADOLS. Attention deficit..OH LOOK! Skittles!
I only drink on two occasions; when its my birthday and when its not.
Wow, I thought “flash mob” meant something completely different. Can someone come bail me out?
I got my stomach by doing as many crunches as I can everyday. Usually either Nestle or Captain.
Happy 15th birthday google, 3 more years and you will be able to search for adult sites legally
is it too late to wrap myself up like a baby and drop myself off on a billionaire’s doorstep
Does running out of money count as exercise?
Gardening is awesome because it is one of the only ways a normal person can be persuaded into buying actual bags of poop.
There`s actually a website designed to simulate what it`s like to be the sole survivor of a nuclear holocaust, it`s called MySpace.