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Finally did it. 25 inflatable mattresses later and I’ve finally turned my apartment into a bounce castle.
Because of smart phones my thumbs now have biceps.
Thought cartoons were getting better. Turns out it was a news story about Justin Bieber.
"Everybody freeze!" -December
Tis the season to throw your diet out the window.
This nude beach would be great!...if I wasn`t the only one participating.
Just joined the support group Hokey Pokey Anonymous ... A place to turn yourself around. ;)
Have we considered putting Scooby Doo and the gang on the Malaysian airplane caper?
I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, “well that’s not going to happen.”
Hugh Hefner dead at age 91. With the amount of Viagra that guy must have been taking, good luck closing that casket lid.
If I had to describe myself in one word, it would be "bad at following directions."
You don`t need to use your words if you`re carrying a machete. People just seem to figure it out.
If a turtle doesnt have a shell, is it naked or homeless ?
Any of you had a friend that borrowed your sh!t and kept it for so long you had to borrow it back..
Every so often, I try to fornicate a large word into conversation, even if I`m not sure what it means.