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It`s not a real relationship until their zip code is in your Weather Channel app.
Sometimes I wonder how people who don`t have kids get their TV remotes from the other side of the room.
I`ll show up at the gym when they put in a drive-thru.
I totally love and fully respect that you`re a little bit slutty
When I`m in a good mood I act like I`m in a bad mood so nobody approaches me and ruins my good mood.
Does anyone know how much water I`m supposed to add to this baby powder, to make an infant?
Sometimes I think I`m a relatively smart person. Other times I put my shoes on before my pants and realize who I really am.
I don`t care how much you like the soap. Never leave a public restroom smelling your fingers.
I`ve been running as fast as I can, but I still can`t catch my breath.
Rob Stalker for congressman........Stalker....a name you can trust.
The mailman just delivered an 8-track of Boz Skaggs Greatest Hits. I guess this fulfills my Columbia House obligation.
October is breasts cancer month. I stare because I care.
I wondered how smokers could afford them, until I realized they don`t have to save for retirement..
It only takes one person to ruin it for everyone...Be that person.
I entered what I ate for lunch into my calorie counting app and it uninstalled itself.