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You know you are getting old when you see girls from TEEN category moved to MATURE & MILFS.
Ever have the experience of staring at an outfit hanging in your closet and wondering which of the personalities did the shopping that day?
Drinking doesn’t make me post better Facebook statuses; it simply makes me not care what you think of them…
Apparently there is no age limit on ignorance.
If u think someone (me) is cute u should tell them (me)
Side boob is only hot on women, bro.
Yes I stalk you, but only as a friend.
Donald Trump`s hair saw its shadow. We have six more weeks of protesting.
My career plans were much more exciting when I was 5
"My name will live forever!" - Anonymous.
You know someone has a drinking problem when they go to the bar at 5pm, you know you have a drinking problem when you`re already there.
I`m a firm believer that if something takes 10 minutes to cook on 200 degrees then it should only take 5 minutes to cook on 400 degrees
Kids today will never appreciate how difficult it used to be finding pictures of naked people.
We are best friends. Always remember that if you fall, I will pick you up… After I finish laughing.
To all the students who drop out of high school: Remember two things, 1) You tried your best. 2) I don`t like pickles on my BigMac.