Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

New day, same old bullsh!t
I’ve robbed banks before and they’re never getting their pens back.
My mind is exceptionally quiet.... I am suspicious that I am up to something I don`t want myself to know about.
I am a drinker ... Hear me pour
Water is life; without it we wouldn’t have coffee, whiskey or beer.
Why do people say "nice to meet you" before I`ve even said anything? How do you know it`s nice to meet me? I`m an a$$hole.
25% of of the women in this country are on medication for mental illness. The other 75% are running around untreated.
I love that little thing that you do...You know, the one where you leave.
I wish I could afford to have a drinking problem.
I think I have 10 inches of Global Warming on my driveway.
Okay I`m going to workout. Should I post about it now or after I`m done?
If your having a bad day, remember that somewhere on this big planet, someone just lost their straw in a capri sun!!
Who can really hear themselves thinking?
Do you smoke? Smokers: "Yes." Non-Smokers: "Never have, never will." Stoners: "Smoke what?"
Are you always this stupid or is today a special occasion?