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According to my neighbor’s journal, I have boundary issues.
Just put my money where my mouth is. Pennies taste disgusting.
My Memory.....The Second shortest thing I have.
Every pizza is a personal pizza, if you try hard and believe in yourself.
Calling someone "stupid" is mean. Unless they actually are. Then it`s just a diagnosis.
One out of every 4 Americans are suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they´re okay, then it´s you.
If you`re camping and you have WiFi, you`re not camping.
Good things come to those who wait. Better things come if you stop f*cking around and make sh!t happen.
Lasagna is just spaghetti flavored cake.
Sorry I`m late, I didnt want to come
Depresso; the feeling you get when you’ve run out of coffee.
My car is equipped with the best anti-theft device. I call it "No air conditioning".
They say I have a drinking problem. I say they have a problem with nudity.
Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you`ll be really far away from me with your motivational nonsense.
I don´t suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.