Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
is cuddling up with a good book and a cup of tea. Ah, who am I kidding... I´m looking at Hustler and having a beer.
Maybe vodka is addicted to me
Thank goodness I`m loud and obnoxious all the time, so my family can`t blame it on the alcohol.
While most people are becoming older and wiser, I´m becoming older and better at making stuff up as I go along.
Still hoping that one day I get to ride a kayak while it`s strapped to the top of someone`s car.
We need to DETACH from all this technology and live life in the moment. Sent from my iPhone
It`s not so much that I have to work that bothers me...oh wait, yes it is.
My sleep number is 100 proof.
When I say “Nevermind.” I really mean you should’ve listened the first time.
If I`ve learned anything from these ghost hunter shows, it’s that everyone speaks English after they die.
"I don`t see color." - A person who shouldn`t eat snow.
Well after 6 months of my girlfriend nagging, I finally did it, I lost 120lbs ... I`m sure gonna miss her.
I did not mean to hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I just figured you already knew.
My therapist keeps saying that I should really stop talking to inanimate objects.....but he`s a lamp...what does he know....
I don`t get in trouble, I just get into questionable situations.