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There are no limits to what you can accomplish when you are suppose to be doing something else.
I must say I enjoy it more when a girl asks me out. To me, there`s nothing more attractive than that high level of confidence, initiative, and poor judgment.
when is humpty dumpty going to hatch?
TEIAM - problem solved
Until today, I thought American Horror Story was a book about marriage.
My wife made me coffee this morning & winked at me when she handed me the cup. I`ve never been more scared of a drink in all my life.
hates when I´m singing along with the radio and the artist messes up the words!
"You clean up nicely", is just a polite way of saying, "You usually look like sh!t."
"Are you even listening to me?" is a weird way for my girlfriend to start a conversation.
Don`t be that guy that goes around saying "Don`t Be That Guy."
I want my children to have all the things I never had so then I can move in with them.
No need to blind fold me, just hand me my phone and drive, I won`t have a clue how to get back here
Dear Santa, before I try to explain…..just how much do you already know?
Now they are saying that the Zika virus is sexually transmittable. What kind of pervert is having sex with a mosquito?
If nobody comes from the future to stop you, how bad can the decision really be?