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Anyone know when Facebook is sending us our W-2`s?
My identity was stolen. I hope they do a better job with my life than I did!
Just because they sell yoga pants in XXL doesn`t mean it`s ok to wear them in public.
You just don’t see enough people being taken away in straight jackets anymore.
A sign on the wall of the drug store said, "Ask the pharmacist if you have questions." How would the pharmacist know if I have questions?
Women are fascinated by mythical creatures like unicorns, vampires, and men who are good listeners...
It`s a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships.
"Safely remove USB." Who does that?
The doctor said I need to drink more whiskey....Oh, by the way... I`m calling myself "the doctor" now.
You know you have anger-management issues when you use an entire can of fly spray at point blank range to kill the tinest of moths...
Well, Thanks to SAMSUNG, flat screens are no longer `Flat`.
I may be stupid but im also dumb! :D
Someone has got to come up with a polite way to ask a fat girl if she`s pregnant.
You know you should goto sleep when the sheep you`re counting start hitting the fence.
Dear life, When I asked if my day could get worse it was a rhetorical question not a challenge.