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How can so many movies be “based on real events” when no one farts?
Urban Dictionary: Helping white folks figure out if they`re getting insulted or complimented daily.
Has anyone ever seen a gorilla in the mist? Some of the local drivers struggle to see my car in perfect daylight conditions, so I doubt that they`d spot a Gorilla in limited visibility!!!!!
"What doesn`t kill you makes you smaller." -Super Mario
People with the loudest car audio systems usually have the worst taste in music.
Adding “and sh!t” to the end of a sentence to make it sound cooler and sh!t.
I can`t be the only one who thinks "Game on, mother f*cker" when I see an air freshner in a bathroom.
LOL` the biggest lie on the internet.
I have many talents... For example: Sleeping.
My wife wrote an email to me saying she was concerned that we have communications issues. I immediately sent an IM asking her to clarify. She messaged me on Facebook saying not to worry but that sometimes we’re not as connected as she’d like. I tweeted her that I love her more than anything. She texted me that she loves me too and sent me a poem on Pinterest explaining how tired she was after a long day of work leading to her email. So I leaned over and kissed her good night.
Some of the best memories I have are of times right before the cops showed up.
You know you had an interesting day when your Google search history includes "rubber panda".
Society: Be yourself. Society: No not like that
I should probably do some housework before they try to film the next Febreeze commercial here.
i havnt seen any status`s about ninjas lately.... well played ninjas