Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Do you ever think that if it weren`t for someone smoking Marijuana they might of killed you already. . .
The only difference between the 13yr old me and the 28yr old me is that my kool-aid now contains vodka.
Nobody wants to know your diet. So shut up, eat your lettuce and be sad.
So those numbers on sports jerseys are how many people each player has killed or what.
is pondering why people have a favorite color M&M when they all taste the same!
How do you spot a blind man at a nude beach? It`s not hard.
Pro Tip: If you`re on the bus, and wearing headphones, people can still hear you fart.
My favorite part of the Bible is when God gives humans free will, then kills them with a flood because they didn`t act the way he wanted.
“The darndest things.” -kids
I know how to wink my eye in like twelve different languages.
I am not particularly bad at cooking but how long is pasta supposed to stay in the toaster ?
I miss my ex a lot... but my aim is getting better.
I just hope my stalker doesn`t tell my dentist how infrequently I floss.
"Woo, I`m on a roll today, baby!" -butter
A fine is a tax for doing wrong...and a Tax is a fine for doing well