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There’s no question about it, the second half of the tank of gas goes twice as fast as the first!
Some marriages end up fine, the others last forever.
I cant afford a Snuggie so I just wear my robe backwards...
Still don`t understand why you can`t end a company-wide email with, `Later b*tches.`
Scientists are adding an extra second to the year 2015. Yeah. Here`s the bad news. You just wasted it reading this post.
People like you are the reason people like me need medication.
If someone tells you "it`s better than sex" they`re not doing the sex right.
May your life be as awesome as you pretend it is on Facebook.
Sometimes I watch sports holding an xbox controller just to screw with my girlfriend`s head.
50% of people believe sex is "the connecting of two people`s souls through two people`s bodies, as one." The other 50% are men.
I`m doing a charity gig tonight for people who struggle to achieve orgasm. Don`t worry if you can`t come
Seriousley.. The cuntestents in the 2013 speling beee contast hafe too now no the meening of the werd thay hafe been axed too spell. I coud rock that contast so eesy :))))) eg. The meening of "Easy". Anser: a kids oven
Million Dollar Idea: A restaurant that offers Coke and Pepsi....
Just saw the previews for the movie Taken 3, you would think by now he would`ve gave his daughter self-defense and gun lessons?
If you have a Selfie Stick Pro, go back two spaces.