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It`s Monday. I`m refreshed and ready to hate my Job
Couldn`t stop thinking about that drought on the west coast while I was watering my driveway today.
Two years ago I became a proud parent. My kid is 6, but they were kind of a pain those first four years.
Facebook. Where people can express thoughts that otherwise might get them fired, divorced, thrown in a loony bin or all three.
It`s not the torch she carries for me that has me worried, it`s the gas can in her other hand.
You will attract attention if wearing a skirt on a windy day. This is doubly true if you are a man.
How do people dumb enough to buy $500 sunglasses make enough money to buy $500 sunglasses?
I need a better plan of action when my phone rings than throwing it.
If you can`t handle your alcohol I would gladly help you out
I wake up everyday planning to be productive and then a voice in my head says “haha good one” and we laugh and laugh and take a nap.
Tonight I`m playing hard to get off the sofa.
Don`t cry because it`s over. Smile because it happened. -Me, to my empty pizza box
I`m not perfect. But I am better than you.
Friending someone on Facebook and complaining about what they post is like phoning someone to tell them you don’t want to talk to them.
They say love is in every corner… Then my life must be a freakin’ circle.