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I hate that they put "use by" dates on condoms... like I`m not under enough pressure trying to get laid already.
For Display Only` signs on the toilets at Home Depot. Sorry guys my bad. ;)
Soul mates are people with the mutual understanding that no one else will put up with their sh!t.
I`m pretty sure country music singers are all just the same guy wearing different hats.
"what doesnt kill u makes u smaller" -mario Lol
I am Bad and thats Good. I will never be Good and thats not Bad. There`s no one i`d rather be than ME.
When you`re tucking your kids in at night, read them a few select Facebook statuses, kiss them on the forehead and whisper "This is why we must stay in school."
Someone once said, “Find a job you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.” So, I’m pleased to announce the grand opening of my titty squeezing business!!
is it just me, or did anyone else think that we would be living like the Jetson´s by 2011?
I try to avoid trouble but I think it likes me.
Cleavage is something you can look down on and approve of at the same time.
I know right from wrong. Wrong is the fun one.
received a call saying that my son had been lying in school, and was being expelled. I don´t have a son. That kid is one damn good liar.
If you hold a 40oz bottle to your ear you can hear the ghetto.
Curious that it`s always a female computer voice that calmly announces self-destruct sequences and other violent disasters.