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Time heals all wounds...unless it`s infected or gangrene or something then time makes it worse.
There are no limits to what you can accomplish when you are suppose to be doing something else.
Don`t worry. Your secret is safe with me. I wasn`t listening anyway.
I don´t like to think of myself as "Special"... I think I would call me a limited edition.
If Shrek can find love, so can you. What I`m trying to say is, you look like Shrek.
Sometimes I think I`m a relatively smart person. Other times I put my shoes on before my pants and realize who I really am.
My bank account is more like a countdown to my homelessness
I wonder who the first person was to look at a beehive and think, "those bastards are hiding something delicious in there, I know it!"
I don`t think America should elect a president in 2016. We need to be single for a few years and find ourselves.
The human race is the only one that lets its idiots live a full life...
I bet my mom is looking down on me right now, wherever she is. She`s not dead, just very condescending.
I see you posted a photograph of snow with the caption "it`s cold" could you tell me more about that
I`ll admit I`m not perfect but what did the horse I rode in on do?
Hillary Clinton is running for president. In other news, grass is green and the sun is hot.
Trying to master the art of eating a powdered donut without looking like I just left Charlie Sheen`s house.