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The cashier at the dollar store told me to have a good day. Like my purchase of shelf liner suggested any other plan.
It appears that autocorrect has become my worst enema.
Yankee Doodle went to town, riding on a pony; he stuck a feather in his hat, and called it macaroni… That folks, is what drugs do to you.
Why does the alphabet need to be in order anyway
The Walking Dead reminds you that other people would still be your biggest problem even if most of them died.
The longest yard for me is that space between me and the nacho dip
My friends says that I spend too much time talking to random people online. What do you guys think?
I don`t know what`s longer, a treadmill minute or a microwave minute.
Saw a bird sh*t on my car, so I ate scrambled eggs on my front step, just to show him what I`m capable of.
I`m no auto mechanic but I`m pretty good at letting people who drive behind me know whether or not they need new brakes
Having a 14 year old has made me realize why some species eat their young.
Will someone please tell ugly girls with small boobs that their opioion doesnt really matter.
I`d like to help you out ... Which way did you come in?
Whether a Vacuum is on or off, it`s always collecting dust.
What do horses eat? Hay. What do gay horses eat? Haaaayyyy!