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I would like to remind everyone it`s not the size of the boat... Or the motion of the ocean, but the whether the boat is able to stay in port until all passangers have gotten off.
Don`t be sad laundry, nobody`s doing me either.
Don`t worry about old age, it doesn`t last that long.
Sometimes I feel like I get less attention than a white crayon.
Why do they call it "hiring a hitman" and not "ordering takeout"
On a scale of 1 to "Get out you`re fired" where does napping at work rank?
I was looking all over for my ambition today......well, It wasn`t under this 12 pack, so I`ll look tomorrow.
I know there are some people we say were dropped on their heads as babies. But there are others that were clearly thrown in the air, hit the ceiling fan, bounced off the wall & fell out the window.
Although tequila is highly toxic, it can be used to dissolve the friend zone.
Sometimes I wonder if these old men sitting on the benches in the mall waiting on their wives to finish shopping were old when they sat down!?
I can`t afford a therapist so i bought a mood ring
NASA has confirmed that December 21, late afternoon, the sky will be very dark. It is an interesting phenomenon called "night".
Every Girls Night Out has at least one crier.
I keep seeing all these commercial on TV about working out and getting "ripped" in 90 days.. Give me a bottle of Jack Daniels and I`ll get ripped in 15 minutes
All I want is a little more than I’ll ever get.