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Never look back. That’s where all the monsters are.
It’s always awkward the first time you hold hands with someone because they usually want to know who you are and why you just grabbed them.
when she says "size doesn`t matter" what she really means is "I have been disappointed before." :)
I have to wonder why we have "non-essential" government employees in the first place.
I love finding money in my clothes. It`s like a gift to me... from me. :)
What`s a burnt pizza, frozen beer, & a pregnant girl have in common? In each scenario, there`s a dumb guy who didn`t take it out in time.
Lets be honest. Half of life is messing up and half is frantically trying to fix it.
My math is never so quick or exact as when I see an old flame with a child.
You ever make fun of someone so much, you think you should thank them for all the good times you’ve had?
I honestly don’t care if you think I’m crazy. You’re just a figment of my imagination anyway.
Who am I calling stupid?? Good question.... What`s your name?!
I`ll never forget the first time we met. Although, I will keep trying.
Hate it when I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket and it’s not even in there.
Someone tore off my warning label when I was born.
Don`t judge a person for drinking; judge a person for not drinking. Those f*ckers are up to something.