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All I`m saying is one of us is right and the other one is you.
It doesn`t matter how old you are, If you hear the ice cream truck jingle you jump out the window for that sh!t.
Step One: Always have a solid alibi.
I’m over the 30-day ab challenge. Is there a 30-day nap challenge I can take on?
I wasn`t planning on giving Christmas gifts this year until I heard about those exploding Samsung G7 Note phones.
I really shouldn`t have driven home from the bar last night. Especially since I walked there.
"Cannot connect to network. Reset your wireless router." "Umm, okay, but what if my router is in my neighbour`s house? Should I call him?"
This salad tastes like I`m about done with my New Year`s Resolution.
Is it ok to take a personal day if none of your pants fit?
Sometimes I wake up grumpy but sometimes I let her sleep instead..
I don`t have a drinking problem ... I`m just really thirsty.
According to WebMD I have déjà vu... but not only that, I also have déjà vu according to WebMD.
Unless you are selling Thin Mints, don’t ever knock on my door.
A fine is a tax for doing wrong...and a Tax is a fine for doing well
I know my limits. I don’t pay any attention to them, but I know them