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We are so fortunate not to live in China, they have to hide their posts in cookies.
Funny how things change with time, I used to hate spankings.. ;)
Your kid is running around the store screaming at the top of his lungs annoying everyone and I`m the a$$hole for tripping him?
Still waiting for the day I can illegally download groceries
I get a little nervous before saying Worcestershire sauce.
Alcohol goes in ... Happiness comes out.
Just did a weeks worth of cardio after walking into a spider`s web.
Maybelline claims to make eyelashes appear three times longer…..I think they should start making condoms.
I can`t find my happy place this morning, mind if I goto yours
Cats spend two thirds of their lives sleeping, and the other third making viral videos.
I get in this weird mood where I don’t want to talk to anybody and just want to be left alone. I call this mood ‘Awake’
I’m amazed by how quickly I forget what I’m doing.
If you leave me a voice mail that asks me to call you back at my convenience you have no one to blame but yourself.
Why do pickup truck commercials think it`s very important that I`m able to tow a plane?
People who say they suffer from constipation are usually full of sh!t.