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When they discover the center of the universe, alot of people will be shocked they`re not in it.
DUI attorneys should buy some ad space on those Taco Bell hot sauce packets.
"This is bullsh!t" - bull farmer giving barn tours
Dang I didn`t make it to the gym today! That makes 5 years in a row
Unsettling sounds #23 - Ice-cream van after dark
My parents say its their house, but when its time to clean it magically becomes my house too.
The best sign of a healthy relationship is no sign of it on Facebook.
People say that 60 is the new 40. The cop who pulled me over didn`t agree.
I got a letter in the mail saying I was pre-approved for a Walmart Credit Card. Not sure if I should be honored or ashamed.
My life may be a mess but at least I didn`t make a harlem shake video.
I was sitting on the toilet when the guy in the stall next to me started smoking. Disgusting. I nearly couldn`t finish my sandwich.
If you could have one super power would you pick flying, invisibility, or falling asleep without questioning every decision you`ve ever made
I love all religions. They bring holidays .
I wish I could match my dog`s excitement to go outside.
Hmmmmm,,,, Turns out all this time, I’ve been using a life couch instead of a life coach.