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What I learned from Titanic was that you need to have sex as soon as possilble with the person you like cause you never know what might happen.
The more neighbors I spy on through my binoculars, the creepier I think all my neighbors are!
this guy with binoculars has been watching me watch him with binoculars and i don`t know who`s winning
I`ve been taking viagara for my sunburn........ It doesn`t cure it...... but it does keep the sheets off my legs at night.
If you enter a room and there`s no food, you`re in the wrong room.
Some people are like Polaroids. You have to shake them violently before they make any sense.
I think I speak for everyone when I say we hate being spoken for.
All fortune cookies should just read, "You will have diarrhea for the next 24 hours.
I only support ghost hunting if you need the ghost for food.
If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?
My dinner stomach is full, but my dessert stomach still has room.
I thinking about how im disgusted by holding a gas pump but yet, I have no problem drinking my beer from a cup that ten other people drank out of, and a backwash covered ping pong ball was just thrown into it after hitting a dirty a$$ garage floor??
Sleep is like a time machine to breakfast.
FYI: I`m never gonna tell the person I`m meeting up with that you said hi.
I don`t think I have enough money to find long everlasting love.