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At least clean up the bathroom before taking your profile picture.
It isn`t until your kids start talking back that you realize dogs would`ve been a better option.
Why do people have to get ready for bed? I`m always ready for bed.
Making fun of someone you`re angry with is childish. Be an adult and hit them with your car, instead
If Wyle E Coyote had enough cash to buy all that ACME stuff why didn’t he just buy dinner?
I fell asleep at the wheel smh, time to turn Mario Kart off and go to bed.
It`s impossible to get a parking ticket if you don`t have windshield wipers.
I always try to learn from the mistakes of other people..... who have taken my advice
You’ll never get the same results running in place as you will running from a lion.
If I was a Chinese millionaire I would change my name to Cha Ching.
Tequila is Spanish for I’m open to waking up anywhere.
The only way to communicate with a drunk person is to get hammered too.
I can`t seem to convince these dogs & cats that I don`t need their assistance in the bathroom.
A world without Facebook would be much more productive.
How dumb is that family if Mrs. Doubtfire can fool them a second time?