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I know it’s 3 meals a day, but how many should I eat at night?
Sorry I got drunk and said and did everything I wanted to say and do.
I don’t understand how people have to “get ready for bed”…I’m always ready for bed.
Health experts recommend a 1500 calorie diet. For those of you not good with math... that’s a 12-pack of 125 calorie beers. You`re welcome!!! ;)
Is it safe to take off my Winter Solstice Glasses yet?
Never make decisions when you are angry....or horny.
You’d think after all these beauty pageants, we would have world peace by now.
Some people are like rain clouds. Once they f*ck off, it`s a beautiful day.
I keep hitting the escape key ... But I`m still here.
I hate when its dark and your brain is all "you know what we haven`t thought about in a while ... demons."
It`s funny how many people I have in my phones contact list who all have the same name Do Not Answer.
People who say everything happens for a reason should remember that when I punch them in the face.
My stove top knob reads, LO | 2 | 4 | 6 | 8 | 10 | HI......so what is Med-High, Medium Low?...They just need to lay it out for me in numbers! Like "set stove top to 8." no wait, 9.? Food manufacturerers and stove manufactuerers need to get toghether on this! So let me see,..... (me thinking)....if ten is high...5 is medium that means 7.5..... WAIT!.....low would be 0 so HI would be 12???....WTF!!! forget about simmer!........HEY KIDS! WHO WANTS PIZZA!
What doesn`t kill you, will hopefully try again
After lengthy reflection, I’ve concluded that having kids wasn’t worth the seven times my son took out the garbage for me.