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One of the most important things in life is perserverance. Hang on...perseveren...no, perserveer...pesever… oh, never mind.....
The only way you can be right in an argument with a woman is by admitting you`re wrong.
I`m a good singer. Unfortunately I have a bad voice.
Pepper spray: The perfect way to end an annoyingly long conversation.
went to see the conjuring, and now there`s 10 crosses, four bibles, and a poster of Chuck Norris in my room.
The best part about a vacation to England is that my wife won`t need to adjust her driving.
I hate it when 18 wheelers blow their horns while Im driving, that sh*t wakes me up!
I can sum up my life in three words: “just browsing, thanks.”
thinks we need to think like a first grade teacher and separate Romney and Gingrich next time they debate!
So, is Dora 18 yet, or what? Asking for a friend.
Why isn`t there a roomba that cuts grass? Probably some stupid law about sending a blade wielding robot out into the neighborhood.
Working in retail has taught me that the customer is always right. At least while they`re in earshot...
Turns out, I`m not an afternoon person either...
When non-smokers come to My house....I ask them to stand outside while I have a smoke
There should be reality show where 16 congressmen are forced to take jobs in the private sector.