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Giving my wife a bikini wax for the first time. Should I wake her up or just let it be a surprise?
Seems like my body should have better things to do than make nipple hair.
I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.
There`s no easy way to steal a watermelon.
Well that`s a wrap on another day where I act like I know what I`m doing.
is battling with eyelids
If someone throws a rock at you, throw a flower back at them, but, make sure the flower is still in the pot..
Every day is a constant battle of trying to convince myself I don’t like cookies.
TIP: If cars are passing you on the highway in the LEFT lane, GET THE HELL OUT OF THE RIGHT LANE!
Just bought an exercise bike today because my treadmill works fine for laying my pants on, but it won`t accommodate hanging shirts on hangers.
If you have just started playing flappy bird I would like to warn you there is nothing up ahead but more dangling pipes and disappointment
Roses are red and sometimes they`re thorny, when I think of you, I get really ...............
Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?
You know its Monday when your left eye wont open and your right eye is twitching.
Fast food places should have a third window, where you can trade in the wrong stuff they gave you at the second window.