Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
That awkward moment when you give the same Hallmark card two years in a row.
I end a sentence with "just sayin" because ending it with "dumbass" would be offensive.
"Trust me, you can dance." -Vodka
Music is best when it’s louder than I can think.
I thought I was on the cash cab show! But turns out I was in a police car and cops hate trivia.
Nothing ruins hump day like not getting humped.
I`m celebrating 1 year of sobriety today ... I think it was 1989 ... Cheers!
You can dress for success or undress for it. It depends on what type of work you want.
My life is much more fun and interesting when I`m single... Problem is I can`t remember any of it.
Do watch out for elderly neighbours in the heat wave. They`re liable to trap you for hours and talk about the weather.
I`ve never been a fan of multi-tasking or quite frankly regular tasking.
As I rise from my slumber the children scream in horror, as they did not know I was in the McDonald`s Playland ball pit
Things that don`t kill bees: 1. Furniture polish 2. Febreeze 3. Butter 4. Screaming
So apparently I`ve been Googling `Asian Prom` this whole time. I watched like seven videos before I realized they weren`t going to bang.
In life you will meet all sorts of people, happy, moody, shy, loud, weird, and then there`s me So deal with it mmuhaaaaaaaahaaahaaaa that`s right !