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I was driving to work this morning and saw a bumper sticker that said, "Jesus is the answer." A few minutes later I saw another bumper sticker that said, "Who farted?" That was the best game of Highway Jeopardy ever!
Taco Bell is donating burritos to feed firefighters in Colorado. Talk about putting gas on the fire,
My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely.
Remember kids, the Toys R Us bankruptcy and liquidation teaches us that poor spelling and grammar will always catch up with you eventually.
Gentlemen may not be extinct, but they are definitely endangered
Randomly print things to give your co-workers the impression youβre working.
I wish I had the confidence of a male flight attendant
There could be literally thousands of chameleons in your house right now and you don`t even know it.
I`m disgusted by the thought of people updating their status while sitting on the toilet like I am right now.
The real trouble with reality is that there`s no background music.
Itβs interesting how the ads on Youtube never have trouble buffering.
My diet could best be described as, "unchaperoned child at a birthday party."
I`m the type of person that will burst out laughing in dead silence over something that happened days ago.
Would you like a push on that mood swing of yours?
Better to be incredibly weird than incredibly boring.