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My password is SupermanHulkThorGoku, that`s the strongest password I can think of.
To all the people who think they don`t need deodorant: What in the world would make you think that?
I`m not a doctor but I play one on Match.com
I don`t necessarily enjoy being the bad influence...but hey, somebody has to do it!
There`s no b, c, d, f, g, h, j, k, l, n, o, p, q, r, s, u, v, w, x, y, or z in team either.
Almost considered doing something with my life, but then I sat down and logged into Facebook.
Dear middle finger, Thank you for sticking up for me.
What age is the best to break it to my kids, that they`re NOT adopted?
If you`re going to have opinions on my life, then I am assuming you will be paying some of the bills.
If a coworker asks to borrow your pen - sniff it and say, “I think this one is safe” and see if they’ll take it from your hand.
it`s friday o clock
Just once I want someone to make a movie that’s sideways on the screen so I can watch it laying down without getting a kink in my neck.
The best two kinds of beer in this world are....Cold & Free..
A good way to mess with a jogger is to run up alongside him and say, "It`s okay, I think we lost him."
Why do people walk by and say "Hi, how are you?" but they don`t stop long enough for you to reply!