Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I´m not cheap, but I am on special this week
great day! laundry done, dishes and house cleaned.... who am I kidding? been drinking since 9 am!!
The Shining is my favorite movie about what can happen when you spend too much time with family.
Don`t you just hate it when people say stuff in thier status that you really didn`t want to know? I hate that. Anyway, I gotta go poop. Talk to ya later.
Me: "The only person I need in my life is you." Bartender: "Please stop trying to hold my hand."
Told my kids next time I take their electronics away I`d also be responding to all texts they receive. They`ve been well behaved since.
My girlfriend would be so mad if she found out that I`m telling people she`s my girlfriend.
"Teeter Totter" is the silliest name for toddler catapults.
I’m on that new diet where you eat everything and hope for a miracle!
If you`re going to have opinions on my life, then I am assuming you will be paying some of the bills.
I just broke a light bulb. Damn, is that 7 years of bad ideas.
I used to eat natural food, until I heard people were dying of natural causes
My girlfriend isn`t much of a wrestler but you should see her box!!
I always learn from mistakes of others, who took my advice.
I’d steal a doughnut truck and attempt to outrun the cops, just to let people see a bunch of cops chasing a doughnut truck!