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I am a completely different person when I`m not under female supervision.
Don`t you love followers that don`t acknowledge your existence. Its so cute. Its like I have tiny marriages all over the world.
When I find it, I don’t need it. When I need it, I can’t find it…
Must be lonely over there on "I`m offended by jokes" island.
Waiting for the day when a girl finally says that I’m “the one,” but isn’t talking to a police officer.
Matt Damon is set to play an all-action version of Jesus in his new Easter based Biblical film, "Bourne Again Christian".
It`s all sh*ts and giggles till somebody giggles and sh*ts
Why do people with bad breath always have to tell me secrets???
I think my problem is that I have really fantastic bad ideas…
Finding a date on the internet is so much easier than real life because how are they supposed to know that`s not your Ferrari?
Telling me to calm down is the easiest way to get me to tell you to go f*ck yourself.
I don`t know why they call it Everclear. I drink that stuff and everything is a blur.
Hey Monday+?+(???) +?+
You`re only young once but you can be immature forever!
I haven`t seen any new Bigfoot pictures in a while... I hope he`s OK.