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Still not 100% clear on whether French Montana is a person or a steakhouse special.
Big shoutout to whoever decided the ? and ! should be next to each other on an iPhone. That typo hasn’t made me look insane 10,000 times.
If you`re single and you know it hug your cat!
Whenever I open my fridge, my dog looks at me with a puzzled look and he thinks, “why don’t you eat all the food?”
If you don`t have anything nice to say, say it anyway, `cause it might be really really funny.
These techno songs last longer than my first marriage
Dating would be a lot easier if the opposite sex had a tail. That way, I could see if it was wagging or not after I did or said something.
Deja poo. The feeling that you`ve heard this sh!t before.
If it`s really the thought that counts, we`re ALL screwed. LOL ;)
My favorite beer is an open one.
Rick Ross be rapping about cars he can`t even fit in.
Why can`t someone look at me the same way I look at pizza?
I`m 50% sure this cross eyed guy is starring at my tits.
I`m a little Stressed right now ... Just turn around and leave quietly and no one gets hurt.
maturity comes when you stop publishing every detail of your life on social media