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I don`t believe women belong in the kitchen... because men are better at that too
Sometimes I think, "Screw this, I will just be a stripper." Then I remember I am fat and I can`t dance.
pudding... thats always a funny word
Boobs, because you can`t motorboat a personality.
Secret Admirers are just stalkers with good PR.
Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh.
"She really does suck!" could be a complement in the porn industry
is wondering why Facebook bothers to give the option of "liking" my own comment? Of course I like my own comments. I´m awesome..
Buying a smart car seems like a good idea until you hit a squirrel and flip over a few times.
Yes... I repost. Isn`t that kinda the point? Spread the love and shit? Mostly shit... But that`s your fault...
Marry someone who can cook. Love fades, hunger doesn`t.
SEX! Now that I got your attention. I just wanted to say, "Have a great weekend!"
You`re right, vodka. This is the perfect time to use a hammer.
Keep up the good work, people who make free porn available.
Sometimes when I’m feeling lonely, I head on over to Best Buy and pretend to know nothing about my phone.