Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m never wrong. One time, I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken.
Singing passionately in the shower: Pretty good idea. Dancing passionately in the shower: Not so much.
what if the princess wants to be with bowser, but mario keeps kidnapping her
My advice for pretty much anything that`s broken is "did you try and jiggle it?".
good boys go to heaven bad boys go every where
I’m really bad at measuring the correct amount of pasta when cooking, so if you and 79 of your friends want spaghetti tonight…I got extra.
Who`s this "moderation" people keep telling me to drink with?
Did the Baha Men ever find their dogs? Did they put up posters or just sing that song?
You know you`re married when you find her sexier with clothes on.
$100 for a dozen red what?! That`s a lot of money for a plant you can’t smoke.
My dog just saved my life by ferociously barking at nothing outside.
Sorry I missed your call. I was peeing and had both hands full.
No man has ever won a game of `notice anything different about me?`
I`m going to invent a cleaning product that kills .1% of all germs and bacteria. It doesn`t sound very effective, but I`m going to get it placed right next to all the other cleaning products that kill 99.9% of all germs and bacteria.
You know you`re a mom when someone says they have a stomach ache and you ask if they pooped today.