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Pepper spray: The perfect way to end an annoyingly long conversation.
Good job with the heavy sighs, guy behind me, that should definitely help speed up the line.
Here`s $30. Drink until I am really good looking, then come and talk to me.
We all have that funny voice we use when talking to dogs, babies... and idiots!
Life gets a lot easier once you decide to become part of the problem.
I wish I drove a Volkswagen bug. It would be cool to know that every time I drove by a school bus, some kid was getting punched.
Don`t look at me in that tone of voice...
FUN FACT: I can fit 17 Pringles in my mouth. SAD FACT: I tried to figure out how many Pringles I could fit in my mouth.
I want to grow my own food but I can`t find any bacon seeds.
Ever been in the middle of writing a great post and think, did I just run someone over?
According to the 19 citations I got for trespassing and peeping, "neighborhood watch" isn`t what I thought it was.
I love the phrase "boobie trapped" I mean, who doesn`t like to be trapped by boobies????
Chillin: the art of doing nothing without being bored.
I need a bank to do two things for me: give me a loan and leave me alone
Iām glad to know that we will never have to worry about a lack of weathermen. I mean, I know at least a couple dozen on Facebook.