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Unlike milk, it is acceptable to cry over spilled beer.
My age is very inappropriate for my behavior.
Just told the guy at the second drive-thru window that the guy at the first drive-thru window wants to fight him.
Repeat after me: It doesn’t matter how big the problem is, posting it on Facebook won’t solve it.
I remember my single days like it was 11 years, 1 month, and 12 days ago.
I just came online to check the weather. That was 12 years ago.
Werewolves tend to transform only upon noticing a full moon already in the sky, implying the affliction is 100% psychological.
I ruined my health by drinking to everyone else’s.
Saying "think outside the box" is a pretty inside the box suggestion.
My girlfriend went to the dentist for a cavity. It`s odd since she spends so much time in the bathroom with her electric toothbrush.
People should have to pass an IQ test to use the self-checkout section.
A sheep spends it`s entire life fearing the wolf only to be eaten by the Shepherd.
Our parents did the same sh!t too, they`re just liars.
I`m having an out of money experience.
I will literally spend $20 on food but won’t buy a $20 shirt.