Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
There’s a limit of how close you should be to another man when taking a selfie.
Of course size matters. No one wants a small pizza
Call me lazy, but if it takes two clicks I’m not reading it.
My wife said to me: "If you won the lottery, would you still love me?" I said: "Of course I would. I`d miss you, but I`d still love you."
Before criticizing my taste, remember that I like you.
Hate having friends? Just chew with your mouth open.
I hate when I forget my sunglasses and get caught staring at a woman`s boobs for 20 minutes.
The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase Regards again.
Wearing my pajamas to Walmart. I don`t want to attract any attention.
Advice of the day: Don`t go trick or treating at the bank. They get freaked out. Especially when it`s not Halloween
Teaching your dog to fetch a beer is smart. Fetching it from your neighbor`s house is genius.
Dear Boyfriend, Your wallet was getting fat so I thought I’d take it out for some exercise. Sincerely, your Girlfriend.
It`s not stalking if you love them!
This Facebook is my serious account. The funny one is my bank account.
Some people are flirting with my delete & block button