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Remember, You’re only young once, but you can be immature forever.
I never sign anything until I pretend to read it first..
I’m not stupid. I’m just too lazy to show how smart I am.
Facebook: Making stalking people much more convenient since 2004.
Do you ever feel like you`re in Season 5 of your life, and the writers are just doing outrageous stuff to keep it interesting?
To understand paranoid people better, follow them around.
you know you`ve been facebooking too much when you accidentally say "LOL", in person...
Picture a scavenger hunt where the only items on the list are "your house keys" and "your house." Well, son, that`s what drinking is like.
The best thing about smartphones is that you don`t have to refold maps anymore.
I only hug people when I need to wipe my hands off.
Whoever said time heals all wounds never had their leg bitten off by a shark.
Doing some caroling! All by myself. In people`s backyards. In the bushes. Very little singing. Mostly watching.
You couldn`t handle five minutes in my head.
Taking a nap is always so risky like when will I wake up -- In 30 minutes? In 3 hours? In 9 years? No one can ever be sure.
My favorite part of The Notebook is when I turned it off and watched Terminator 3 instead.