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Sex without love is merely healthy exercise.
"There`s nothing sexier than a chick that knows how to work on cars" -Dudes, trying to get us to do that job too.
Hard work never killed anyone but why risk it?
I will straight up walk into traffic to avoid a kid selling something.
If you can´t amaze people with your intelligence, confuse them with your bullsh*t
I don’t know who decided that high heels were just for women but…GOOD CALL.
Velcro, what a rip-off!
I just found out my smoke detector comes with a warranty. WHAT FOR? If it don`t work, what`s left?
this isn`t the status you`re looking for
My wife just bought a $50 bottle of shampoo. So guys, party at my house this weekend because apparently we won the Lottery!!!
I just want to point out that I am an Amazon Prime member so it`s about time you guys started treating me with a little respect.
I think they put less beers in twelve packs these days.
The text message is the new greeting card, but without any hope that there will be money inside.
I`m Dave, or as the ladies like to call me... "Hey, you! Behind the bushes!"
Remember before you give the finger from the safety of your car, not everyone has a schedule to keep.