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If every U.S. sports team converted to metric, Americans would understand the metric system by the next game.
“What doesn’t kill you makes you smaller.” ~Mario
I need plastic surgery to fix whatever it is about my face that gives people the impression I want to hear about their relationship problems.
Don`t give me a sec, give me lots of secs.
"Ramen". - Scooby Doo, finishing a prayer
If you don’t like something change it... if you can’t change it....post it on facebook, so we can "like it" and laugh..
Forget resolutions, Imma just say from now on... TGIS "Thank God I Survived" ! :)
Say goodbye to your girlfriends cause I just bought a book on magic tricks
I always take life with a grain of salt, plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.
There`s a big difference between a mechanic and a surgeon when they work on a tranny.
What idiot called it a driver`s test and not a Game of Cones?
Imagine if someone`s name was Gurt. You`d be all "yo gurt!" .. funny? no? Ok (._.)
Fact: No one has ever "Jumped in the shower."
I just ate some generic Frosted Flakes.... They"rrrrreeee alright.