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Vodka is just amazing water.
I`ve decided to go my own way and think "inside the box" to be different ... Wow its dark in here!
We should have staff meetings in the garden. The plants would love the fertilizer.
If I treated others how I wanted to be treated, I`d be doing a ton of spontaneous sexual favors for random strangers.
I`m getting older but I still have my moments...though I don`t always remember where I put them
I wonder if the Ziploc bag company secretly lobbies to keep marijuana illegal.
Sure you can try and tell me what to do. Or you can keep your teeth.
I think it`s really strange how some people talk to their animals, give them personalities and make up voices for them. My dog, Benjamin, agrees with me.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
Time to clean the house. Good thing I took that delegation class at work and I have 2 kids. This is going to be fun
I`d rather run a marathon than listen to someone talk about running a marathon.
A wise man once told me `Never sleep with your a$$ itching.. You`ll wake up with smelly fingers`
If you pour two beers in one glass, it`s just one beer.
What happens when Batman sees Catwoman? The Dark Knight Rises.
Bill Gates: A billi a billi a billi JayZ: Half billi half billi half billi Lil Wayne: A milli a milli a milli Me: A dollar a dollar a dollar