Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
According to a recent survey, 98% of people responded with `Go away.`
They don`t make pizza or beer out of celery. And that is all you need to know about celery.
When exactly are they going to make Xanax fit my Pez Dispenser?
I like people. I just don`t want them talking to me. Or breathing near me. Or making me look up from my phone.
It’s hard to get a lot done when you’re busy having a snack every 15 minutes
I can`t wait to procrastinate.
To me, suicide seems selfish. For all I know, someone else might want to kill me
Dear autocorrect, at no point in time have I meant to say "I`m affordable" instead of "I`m adorable".
We`re all mature until somebody brings out the bubble-wrap...
Debate?.....isn`t that what you use to catch "The Fish" ?
Hey, how long are you supposed to chase someone after they steal your wallet? Cause I`m getting tired of running and he`s catching up to me.
That awkward moment when Adele finds someone like me
Tampon commercials create an unrealistic expectation of how much fun it is to be around menstruating women.
I have high blood pressure, but my dogs don`t. So, from now on I`m only getting upset about squirrels and mailmen.
Don`t worry, kids. Being an adult is mostly just googling how to do stuff.