Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
A lot of people don`t realise that Shania Twain`s father, Mark, was actually a pretty good writer.
!f yhu T@k yk d!$, then dont talk to me.
From now on when someone asks you where you`re from look them dead in the eye and say: Planet Venus.
I was playing catch phrase with my family and the phrase I got was `pearl necklace` .. And then I ruined family time...
I really can’t kick ass, but I’m super good at taking names!
Remember to make some bad decisions today. 20 years from now that’s all you’ll have to make your kids think you’re cool.
God created the world in 7 days but took 9 months to create me. So clearly I’m a big deal...
Bars are Weird Its the only Business that kicks you out for buying TOO much of their Product
You have to wait 30 days to buy a gun but Amazon Prime only takes 2 days to ship live bees, no questions asked.
For every idiot proof system devised, a new and improved idiot will arise to overcome it.
If you get angry, just relax, take a deep breath and count to ten, unless you`re angry about oxygen and numbers.
Is it bad when I’m talking to myself and I’m not even listening?
I bet kangaroos get drunk and find some ridiculous shit in their pouches in the morning.
Netflix basically has every movie, except for the ones I actually want to watch.
Black holes must be where God divided by zero.