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Does ke$ha go by k€sha in Europe?
Love is like hearing your favorite song for the first time. Then listening to it over and over again till you hate that song.
Procrastination comes to those who wait.
good boys go to heaven bad boys go every where
When someone asks if you lost weight, the correct response is always, "no, it just seems like it to you because you got fatter."
Sometimes I think my job is actually a hidden-camera game show where they see how much absurd bullsh!t I`ll put up with before I catch on.
Bring a CD into my car that I "have to hear" and I`ll figure out a way to deploy the passenger side airbags
You know you`re getting old when bending over is a one-way trip.
"Mary had a little lamb. That`s had." - the wolf
Sorry to burst your bubble, but your waiter doesn`t really think your choice was excellent.
What makes fancy green beans fancy?
Unless you fell on the treadmill, nobody wants to hear about your workout.
The 21st century: When deleting history is more important than making it.
You`re beautiful until your Photoshop 30 day trial has gone.
Dear life, When I asked if my day could get worse it was a rhetorical question not a challenge.