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The guy below me obviously doesn`t know that R2-D2 is in movies, not television
Keep the dream alive......... Hit the snooze button.
I thought I was a bit hardcore until I saw this guy sucking on a soy sauce packet like an Otter Pop.
When people start praying before a meal, I close my eyes and imagine how far I could throw a potato if I really put my heart into it.
Iām a proud supporter of messy hair and sweatpants.
Mondays aren`t so bad... it`s my job that sucks.
I went to McDonalds, put 5 dollars on the counter and said "Surprise me". Because I never get what I ask for anyway!
Answering my phone and saying... FBI fraud division. Has really cut down on the telemarketers.
Talk to me long enough and you`ll realize why I`m single.
wants to jump in a cab and yell "follow that car!"
Just shaved my legs for the first time since October...just kidding, it`s not warm enough for that yet.
I will pay good money to anyone who can take me from work, make it look like an abduction and tuck me back into bed.
You know it`s been a good night when you wake up and see bite marks on the walls...
Internet Dating......The Odds are good but the Goods are odd
I took two years of Spanish in high school, so ordering off the Taco Bell menu is super easy for me.