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My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Was sitting, doing nothing. Then I realized I could be sitting and doing nothing on Facebook. So here I am.
I wonder if the Happy Birthday wishes I send out to my Facebook friends would mean the same to them if they knew that I was sitting on the toilet.... LOL
One day, people are gonna write songs about the nap I`m about to take.
Patience Is When Playing TETRIS And U Let Those Bricks Fall On Their Own Without Speeding Them Down
There’s really no reason to repeat yourself. I ignored you just fine the first time.
Sometimes late at night.. I dig a hole in the back yard by lantern light.. Sure keeps my nosy neighbors on their toes.. :|
After spending the last week stealing cars and killing people I just found out GTA had missions.
Like many people, I used to want to be famous, but after this year, I`m quite happy to be have been such a failure.
I`m not saying you`re stupid; you just have bad luck when it comes to thinking.
Saying a prayer for all the turkeys today. Also the single people with concerned relatives.
In my defense Your Honor, I thought she had been stung by a jellyfish.
Light beer and turkey bacon probably won`t kill you but why take the chance??
If you have to tell us that you`ve been going to the gym, you probably need to go more often....
The Drug Store cashier asked me how im doing as I put some diarrhea medicine on the counter. "Not great man, I`ve got diarrhea" I told him.