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Door bells should be made illegal in commercials. Pet owners know what Iām talking about.
There is nothing more annoying than a couple who just got back from vacation.
Hell hath no fury like me when Iām slightly inconvenienced and hungry.
That kid looks like me. Somebody should warn him.
A married man has 2 options in an argument...he can be right or he can be happy
I think Facebook is the Malaysian plane of the internet. No one on here has been seen by their family in weeks.
My favorite drinking game is drinking.
How come phones only get lost when they are on silent?
Is snaxting a thing? Texting each other pics of your snacks? Cause I feel like Iād be pretty good at that.
My doctor wrote me a prescription for dailysex but my girlfriend insists it says dyslexia.
I`m an accident looking for a place to happen!
As I rise from my slumber the children scream in horror, as they did not know I was in the McDonald`s Playland ball pit
I`m not saying my wife`s voice is annoying, but right now I`m really jealous of deaf people.
Arguing in sign language must be a workout.
You know that little thing inside your head that keeps you from saying things you shouldn`t? ... Yeah, I don`t have one of those.