Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`ll be taking my time and yours,, thank you....... -- all 80 yr. old drivers
Nothing makes you feel more like a kid than the right breakfast cereal. Lucky Charms for me please!
Perhaps your whole purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others
Sometimes to much to drink is never enough
Why did you have to take a half naked picture in front of a full length mirror to show off your new haircut?
There was a glorious time, before social media, when you would just lose touch with people.
Sometimes I let the words in my mind come out of my mouth. And it feels awesome! B)
I am not sure, but I think I just heard my cup of coffee say, "You are my b*tch"
All true wisdom is found on T-Shirts.
I`ve already had two beers which automatically means my day is already better than yours.
I swear, if one more person calls me an alcoholic they are getting a high five too.
You are more likely to be bitten by a person who believes they are a shark than an actual shark.
Nice try speed bumps, it`s a rental.
I bet the YMCA dance is alot harder to do in Chinese.
It takes me like three days to wake up in the morning.