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I love long legs.... Long sexy legs..... But not on a Spider, I hate long sexy legs on a Spider.
Got a problem with me? I’m pretty sure a status on Facebook won’t fix it.
I want my next girl to be crazy but more "Lets have sex in public" crazy rather than "I throw hot coffee in your face" crazy.
A Smart car Zoomed past me And vanished into a pothole.
Why is it called when animals attack? It should be called when retarded people go near dangerous animals.
I would watch NASCAR if it was more like Mario Kart.
Size does matter-just ask Pluto.
Are you always this stupid? or are you just making special effort today...
I thought a vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant but apparently it only changes the color of the baby.
Just saw a coyote next to the highway. I hope this tunnel ahead isn`t just painted on.
Acting like a mature adult is super easy if you hate having fun.
Don`t be sad, laundry. Nobody is doing me either.
I`d care more about your feelings if they came with a toy and chicken nuggets.
Typical: you have nothing to wear for a party and suddenly the rabbits, the birds and the mice begin to sew you a dress
A blind man walks into a bar....and a stool....and a table....