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Here`s a thought: Let`s let the illegal Mexicans stay and send the whining crybabies to Mexico. At least the illegal Mexicans are willing to work.
Days are short in December but spending them with family really stretches them out.
I got pulled over for drunk driving last night. In my defense I didn`t even know I was driving.
Halfway through singing a romantic ballad to my cat, it occurred to me that I`m going to die alone.
looong and hard, yep thats my pencil.
No way the guy from Operation is insured for any of those ridiculous medical procedures.
“Taking candy from a baby” would actually be a responsible thing to do.
From now on, I will be replacing the word `sh*t` with `sugar` in my facebook statuses, so that I don`t come across as being so f*cking vulgar all the time.
6 inch - about right, 7 inch - cant complain, 8 inch - f*cking perfect, 9 inch - a bit much, 10 inch - its hurting my insides, 11 inch - I cant take it anymore, 12 inch - I`m absolutely f*cking destroyed ... Aren`t pizza`s just awesome.
I found my first grey pubic hair today. Normally things like this don`t bother me, but it was in my Big Mac.
I sometimes check my blocklist to see how my prisoners are doing
Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance... The five stages of waking up.
I got up this morning and think I saw my shadow. I´m going back to bed for six weeks.
My anger management class pisses me off
I spent the first 20 minutes of 2014 looking for the remote.