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umm umm u know that school where i got the degree from
If I told you I loved you, would you believe me or just stand there freaking out about me being in your closet?
Sometimes I like to play God and just ignore everyone when they talk to me.
I wish I could veto MY bills.
Sometimes you have got to talk to a 3year old toddler in order to understand the meaning of happiness in life.
"..::. :.:.. ::...: .:. :.:: ::.: ..::. :: ::.:..." - Stevie Wonder-
The lottery is over $400 million. Sorry poor kids, no dinner tonight...
My secret fantasy is to have two women at the same time, one cooking and one cleaning.
After the expiration date on poison, is it more potent or less potent?
I`m a very modest person, mostly because I`m awesome.
I have very poor ninja skills when it comes to staring at cleavage.
I thought there was a spider on the rug, but it was just some yarn. It’s dead yarn now, though.
A panda never pays his bills, because he eats shoots and leaves!!!
Letting my dad play Angry Birds on my iPad is like showing a caveman fire.
I like my coffee like I like my men: caffeinated, made of beans, muscular, tousled hair, you know what, I don`t really know how to do this..