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In my defense, your honor, he had the keyboard clicking sound on his phone turned on.
Sometimes it`s nice to know karma is still a feisty little b!tch.
I have short term memory. I also like to fish. Also, I have short term memory.
Let`s run away together.. Lol jk, I don`t run anywhere.
For years I thought hitchhikers were just complimenting my driving.
My neighbors look at me in a very weird way.. it’s like they never saw a guy with binoculars before.
If I had a time machine I`d set it to "back in the day", just to see what everyone is talking about.
If it wasn’t for caffeine I wouldn’t be a functioning member of society.
I wonder what my dog has named me?
whenever i`m bored I just expect at any moment for the Koolaid man to break through my wall and take me on a deliciously refreshing adventure!
Seems like 2013 was just yesterday.
I`ve always wondered why they don`t have a pregnant Barbie doll? Turns out Ken comes in a different box...
People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who really do.
Man, the first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.
Someone asked an old man: "After 70yrs you still call your wife Darling, Honey and Luv. What`s the secret?"... Old man: I forgot her name 10 yrs ago & I`m scared 2 ask her.